(no subject)

[xp_artie]

 @Doug

So, researchers have found a way to turn dead spiders into necrobiotic grippers.

Putting this in the nightmares folder. 

https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/1552662721124081664?s=20&t=Sb9jf5_vVtuWGFGPMIj25Q

Comments

[xp_loa]

Science continues to go too far — in other words, thanks, I hate it.

[xp_artie]

Same. It's a slippery slope from here to wiring up corpses and having a zombie army. Trust me.

[xp_loa]

I wanna know how you know but I also desperately DON’T wanna know.

[xp_artie]

You see one mad scientist, you've seen them all. You get a feeling for the vibe.

[xp_loa]

Having seen none mad scientists and wishing it to remain that way, I will, in fact, trust you on this.

[xp_cypher]

WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT

[xp_artie]

Why would I tell you? Because I thought you might like to know.

[xp_cypher]

No, the collective 'you' as in those scientists.

[xp_artie]

Ohhhh. Yeah, I can't answer that one.

[xp_darcy]

The idea is actually fascinating until some wackadoodle gets their hands on the research and turns it into actual nightmare fuel.

You bring the best/worst gifts babe, honestly.

[xp_artie]

I'm only about 25% sorry. This whole thing is fuuuuuuucked.

[xp_darcy]

Are you ever more than 25% sorry when you make us aware of fascinating yet horribly terrifying things, really? ♥

[xp_artie]

No. Not really.

[xp_darcy]

on the bright side, time to revamp those zombie apocalypse plans to account for zombie spiders.

[xp_loa]

This is a horrific article, but I saw you call Artie babe and it made me smile, making me think it's time for me to call more people "babe" - so I'm stealing that. 💖

[xp_darcy]

Artie's one of my fave babes. 😉 (You'll see me call other friends that too, it's quality gender neutral affection.)

[xp_loa]

It definitely is! Just like hot girl summer being a state of being, not involving requirements, just summer.

[xp_blink]

I AM GOING TO KILL WITH FIRE

[xp_artie]

I am right there with you.

[xp_blink]

....I think this is the first time we've agreed on anything.

[xp_daredevil]

.... have none of these scientists seen a scifi movie?

[xp_artie]

Yes but they thought the bad guy was the hero.

[xp_daredevil]

this is what's wrong with the world today

[xp_hawkeye]

You know, technically that should be necroarachnobiotic. Nonspecific scientists, or those assholes who refuse to name things specifically because they think they can find a broader use for it, like somehow cow hooves are gonna turn out to have the little hairy sticky things that make spiders stick. I'm not saying it's impossible, just highly improbable and if it happens, name the other thing necrobovinobiotic.

[xp_artie]

Maybe but honestly, I am here on the side of this is a slippery slope and the next thing you know, a technopath has wired a bunch of corpses into a robot zombie army and is trying to take over Delaware.

[xp_hawkeye]

Electrotechnobionecrocorpuspraetereum army in Delaware would be the worst.

[xp_daredevil]

Clint, no

[xp_hawkeye]

Already named the electrotechnobionecrocorpuspraetereum army, bro.

[xp_daredevil]

name it all you want, you can't create or keep it

[xp_hawkeye]

I in no way, shape, or form want anything to do with the creation of a technopathically controlled zombie army. But I had fun naming it.

[xp_daredevil]

oh good. you haven't entirely lost your mind

[xp_wildchild]

No.

I don't think that's how Latin and Greek work, they're not GERMAN, bro.

[xp_hawkeye]

I mean, I could throw in a German word somewhere to make you happy, but it's already pretty long.

[xp_wildchild]

THIS IS WHY I EDIT YOUR PAPERS jesus

[xp_hawkeye]

You're really good at it, too.

[xp_wildchild]

Also I don't make up 14 syllable words just Because

[xp_hawkeye]

I'll name something after you one day, Kyle Gibney. It'll be Kylus Gibneyus Extremous.

[xp_wildchild]

that is SO not how Latin and Greek works oh my GOD

[xp_mayhem]

There's got to be a sustainable but less creepy option than using corpses. What next, shields made out of roach carapace?

[xp_hawkeye]

Please don't take this the wrong way, since I know you're one of the spider people, but it's spider corpses? Like, let them live and die naturally and harvest the remains for your project.

[xp_mayhem]

My issue is more the idea of reanimating an entire corpse (even if it is just with puffs of air), not the ethical and sustainable harvesting of parts after death. It's spiders now, but down the road? Some scientists are much more interested in "Can I do this?" instead of "What are the ethical considerations of doing this?"

[xp_hawkeye]

Ah, the age old war between "can I" and "should I" in which "should I" often loses. That's why Ethics in Science was a required course when I was at MIT. Also, I do actually have a PhD in Computational & Systems Biology, which means seriously I could stop someone from doing this. Maybe eXcal should take a trip to see if we can futz with their results. Alternately, maybe the spies could discredit the scientists behind the discovery. Hate to do it, but sometimes potential negative applications require some kind of interference, but we're getting into some serious Minority Report stuff here and I'm not all about that.

[xp_mayhem]

These scientists seem to be thinking helpfully, but you know how the community is--something like this gets attention and suddenly two dozen other research schools have a grant for similar things that may or may not be helpful, and that doesn't even touch the weird shit corporations do. I think it's definitely worth keeping an eye on the directions this sort of research takes.

My concern is less this specific application and more what people like... hell, I don't know if they are the same here, but OsCorp in my reality was the sort of place I would not trust to do the ethical thing. Not on purpose, at least, unless there was media scrutiny involved.

Columbia required Ethics in Science too, not that you'd know it based on some of the people that made it to upper-level engineering with me.

[xp_echo]

Why?